7 Tips To Put The Spark Back In Your Relationship
Everyone experiences the excitement of a new relationship, the butterflies, the inability to stop smiling, the ache when you and your loved one are apart, but as your relationship progresses it’s natural to feel those emotions and physical responses begin to dull. This can be a worrying and upsetting experience for many, however all is not lost.
After an extensive amount of time with someone your relationship will inevitably change, long term relationships and marriage introduce stresses and responsibilities which can have a big impact. Work, children, and general life commitments can push even the most stable and loving of relationships to arguments and conflict which furthermore can lead to a partnership becoming stale. Small habits that you may not previously have noticed in a partner can become great annoyances in the absence of by-gone passion. So what can you do? Absence of that initial spark is not necessarily a sign that the love is gone, and by no means is a reason to give up.
The following seven tips can help you reignite that spark and get you and your partner more loved-up than ever:
The key to any good relationship is communication, and many forget the importance in simply talking to one another. Equal in importance however, and easily forgotten, is listening. Setting aside regular slots of time, away from any distractions just to talk about things that may be concerning you about your relationship/marriage is the first step. No one person can fix a relationship alone, merely confiding in your loved one will be a weight off your mind and allows for you both to be on the same page and therefore be prepared to tackle any issues together.
2. Making An Effort/Gestures:
Remember all those cute things you and your partner used to do at the very beginning of your relationship? The notes, the sweet little gifts, the loving text messages, the home cooked dinners. Reintroducing these small gestures into everyday life can bring a little romance back into your relationship and rekindle those feelings buried beneath the grind of daily life. The beauty is, that when you actively perform loving gestures, not only are you consciously thinking of your feelings towards your partner, you are also making them feel loved and therefore wanting to reciprocate in expressing their feelings for you.
3. Be Affectionate:
That old saying “actions speak louder than words”? Well there is definitely some truth to it, you can say you love someone, tell them you find them attractive, but it all falls a little flat when not backed up with physical reinforcement. The smallest little actions can have a big impact on your partner and, furthermore, your relationship as a whole. Kissing, for example, has been scientifically shown to release oxytocin, a hormone linked with love and bonding. Even the smallest of actions can have your partner melting, tucking hair behind their ear, holding hands, touching their neck, cuddling on the sofa, all can help set the sparks flying and bond the two of you closer than ever. Communication takes place on many levels and body language is a great way to express feelings for each other.
4. Spend Time Together:
Like everything, people can find it difficult to fit in alone time within their relationship into their busy lives, but with a good relationship, for many, being the basis of a happy life it’s paramount that you set aside some time to give your relationship or marriage the regular TLC it needs. Now realistically, with various life commitments and tight budgets, it may be that you can only manage one “date night” a month and that’s just fine, the quantity is not what is important. By organising a set and regular arrangement gives something for the two of you to look forward to. If you have family members or friends who are happy to babysit, or if you don’t have children it may be that you can have more regular dates. Cinema trips, eating out at a restaurant or even staying in with a movie and some microwavable popcorn are all potential ideas for some intimate, bonding time with your loved one! There are date nights to fit every lifestyle and budget.
Looking back on the beginning of your relationship can be one of causes for feeling you’ve lost your spark, however it can also provide a remedy. Looking back on old photographs together, thinking back to previous experiences and exchanging the way you both felt about each other can remind you how strongly you feel and awaken feelings you may have forgotten you still had! Looking back can remind you why you fell in love in the first place and puts focus on all the positives in your partnership. This is an activity you can even share with your family, sitting down with your kids and showing them photos and mementos of the early stages of your relationship can be a wonderfully loving and bonding experience.
As time passes you can begin to stop noticing all the things your partner does for you. Whether it’s that shirt they ironed, or those flowers they bought you, appreciation goes both ways. Even the littlest things can take a lot of effort and shouldn’t be taken for granted. Thanks and gratitude can go a long way within a relationship and making it known to your partner or spouse that you are grateful for all they do and vice versa can make all the difference. Gratitude shows your love for someone and all they do and can help counteract any potential for developing feelings of resentment or unappreciation. Little notes or a card to say thank you can be a lovely gesture in showing your appreciation for the one you love, and show how much you care.
7. Tolerance and Compromise:
Annoying habits, we all have them and after years with someone some things can begin to grate on you so that it feels like aggravation is all that’s left. From leaving the toilet seat up, to cluttering the bathroom with beauty products everyone has their vice, but while you may be irritated some of things your partner does, the same is probably true of you in regards to them. But you love each other so you put up with it right? Well, if something is truly driving you mad, trying and failing to ignore it might result in feelings of resentment which can have a negative impact on your relationship. Sharing your pet peeves with each other can help you find some common ground and come to an agreement. Working out a compromise can help you both resolve any potential annoyances in a hurt-free way. It’s important to remember that picking and nagging at a person’s flaws not only doesn’t solve the matter, but can also be detrimental to their feelings and self esteem. Remember that nobody is perfect, including yourself and that for all the things you love in your partner, sometimes it’s worth trying to overlook the odd annoying habit.